Unemployed

The words I hoped I'd never have to write.  Jeremy got laid off on Monday of this week.  It was a shock.  We are still in shock.  It's quite surreal having him around here today.  Yesterday he went and cleaned out his office and said goodbye to those he has worked with for nine years. Basically his bosses said there's not enough work and too many project managers.  Nothing to do with Jeremy's performance.  Yes, he did have a church he's been working on for the past few years.  And we thought we had at least till March when his current project was to finish.  But here we are.
  I was laying on the couch watching TV.  He put the kids to bed and then came over to me and said, "I have something to tell you.  I got laid off today."  I said, "Whaaatttt?," as I sat straight up thinking surely I didn't just hear what I thought I did.
  Immediately Jeremy called our families and told them.  And I emailed my closest friends for their prayers and support.  And of course, they didn't disappoint.  One friend said, "Girl, God is so much bigger then unemployment and mortgages!"  So true.  That has been playing over and over in my mind since she said it.  And she's walking this road too.
  Here's what I know to be true.  God is Good all the time, even now.  He is super faithful.  He is up to something!  This road is not going to be easy.  There are many lessons the Lord will have for me and my family. He promises to care for us.  He has my best interests at heart.
  For now, we are going to plug away over here working on resumes and praying that God will give us wisdom to walk this road.  And I am going to enjoy my husband and the girls, they are going to enjoy Daddy.
  I will trust Him.  He is ever present, ever faithful.

Full

Grab a cup of joe or a glass of wine....It's going to take you a while to read all the new posts:) I am almost caught up!

Life has been so very full these past few months. We are learning and growing in our parenting and our marriage so we have been busy. Having a third child has really turned the Gibson house upside down! Don't get me wrong, we love it!, but it's been hard. My day to day life is completely different. I know you moms know what I am talking about. There's so much more to do in the same amount of time. And add homeschooling, Jeremy's busy schedule at work, and a major trial we are helping our dear friends work through...and you have a full life. God's grace is sufficient to help us and we are thankful that His mercies are new every morning.

I just turned 30 and I wanted to write a post about what God has been teaching me. But I can't seem to sit down and write it with everything going on, so I am going to do a condensed version.

The past few years have been full of circumstances the Lord has used to show me my weaknesses and my need for Him. He is teaching me to trust Him with everything. It's been hard but so so good. He has also taught me that my life is not my own. Nope, it's not mine. I have been bought with a price and I am called to glorify Him with my all. So that means surrendering everything. My job as a wife, my mothering and our finances. I am so tempted to do things on my own, in my own strength. But God is breaking me of that little by little. So as I was sitting in a women's meeting a couple of weeks ago I feel like God said, "Your life is not your own. I have brought you to this place of seeing this truth and now I am going to show you what your new life looks like." So I feel like this is going to be a big year of God teaching and showing me what it means to lay down my life for Him and for my family. I look forward to it.

If you think about it, can you please pray for us? I don't normally do this on my blog because that's not what it's intended for, but we are in serious spiritual warfare with some friends over their marriage. It has been a heartbreaking, humbling journey and we are just beginning to scratch the surface. There is so much pain to dig into. So much confusion and hurt. Sometimes I want to throw up my hands and shout, "God where are you???" But I know He's here and that He's working, for good. For this couple and for all of us. So please, please pray for this situation. We really appreciate it.

So onto what we've been up to:)

The Difficult Work of Waiting

Do you have those devotions where God speaks directly to you?  Sure, we all do.  Somedays it's really clear to me and others, well not so much.  Today is one of those days where it is clear as a bell.  

I am reading "Living in the Gap Between Promise and Reality," a reformed commentary on the "Gospel according to Abraham" by Iain Duguid.  I started reading it last year and then went to something else.  Well, I'm back and boy is it good!

Today the chapter is from Genesis 16, where Sarai tells Abram to take Hagar and try to accomplish the promised blessing.  They were willing to try to make it happen on their own, instead of waiting on God to fulfill his promise.  You all know the rest of the story and the mess that created.

 So here is what I read, "An attitude of impatience and distrust is intensely dangerous.  You are eager to see events unfold and have grown weary of waiting for God to act.  You are anxious to see the way ahead, instead of walking by faith.  You want to see every obstacle removed immediately."

 BAM!  There it is.  When I read that, I knew it was for me today.  Most of you are aware of the building we are doing over here on our land.  So I won't rehash all of it, except to say it's been the hardest thing we have ever done and there have been obstacles at every turn.  Well, here we are a year and a month from the day that our dear friends signed papers to buy their land and start building their houses.  They should have been in them 4 months ago.  Today, two of them are 99.9% complete and we are waiting on our final inspections. (The third one started much later than the first two).

  What's going on in my heart?  Not much faith.  I am anxious to see this done, to see my friends get their houses and to have my husband back.  I have grown weary of waiting on God.  It's been long enough!  Two years now! I want to see every obstacle removed immediately.  I want these inspections signed off pronto.  No more, fix this and do that just because the inspector wants it his way (which is totally subjective we have learned). Let's just be done here Lord!  We've endured enough!!

  Then Mr Duguid says, "But what do you do when it seems the desires of your heart are good and proper, yet they remain as unfulfilled as ever?  You must continue to wait for God's timing.  God is not slow-but neither is he in a hurry."

We wholeheartedly believe God called us to this monumental task.  And that He will bring it to pass.  But there have been many days where I have wondered what we were thinking!  Then I have to remind myself of what I just stated, this is God's project, not ours.  The desires of my heart are good, to see God's plan continue to unfold and for the vision of Treasure Cove to begin.  Friends living together, glorifying God and raising our children to love and serve Him. That's our heart and that's the heart of the Balts, Hollemans, and Lucases. BUT I MUST WAIT ON GOD'S TIMING.  HE IS NOT SLOW NOR IS HE IN A HURRY!!

I am convicted.  I have repented this morning of my unbelief in what God is doing in and through me and through this project.  When I read this, I just groaned cause I knew it was just what I needed and the sins were mine.

"But, like a patient and long-suffering parent, God bides his time, neither delaying nor hurrying, until every thing is in place.  Then-and not a moment sooner-he gives us the good things he has promised."  

Amen! He will finish the work he has begun. When the timing is perfect and not a moment 

sooner! So from this day forward, Lindsay is going to trust Him and lay it all at his feet knowing it will be done in His perfect timing.

  

The Trials of Life

I have a confession to make...I LOVE reading commentaries along with my Bible for my quiet times. Especially the Reformed Expository ones.  I am doing one on James now, and it is really good!  I have been wanting to write this post for a week now, but these take a lot of time to write:)

Anyway, Let's get started.....

 James 1:2-12 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

  James is telling us here that God brings us trials to test our faith and develop maturity in us. That is the goal!  The author says, "When James says believers should rejoice in trials because they test our faith and develop maturity, he addressed more than the hour of crisis or sorrow.  James wants the church to live out its faith in the crucible of life, in all its tests.  This includes tests born of hardship, such as accidents, sickness, poverty, and anxiety.."  Amen!

  I am going to attempt to apply this teaching to the most significant trial of this season in my life- my health, specifically my migraines.  I am called to live out my faith in the midst of these migraines.  God is testing me and developing maturity.  It is hard!  I am still having two migraines a week and this has been going on a year.  But I must rejoice.

  James says that our response to trials reveals our heart condition- and he wants us to respond with pure joy.

  Mr. Doriani, the author, "First of all, we must see the world as a place of constant testing.  Peace is rare, almost abnormal, and trials are common.  Rather than blaming God for this, we should regard it as joy, because trials produce maturity, especially if we seek God's wisdom in them."

 

    Many times I do question God in this trial.  How much longer?  Why isn't anything working God? What about my poor husband who already has so much on his plate?  Shouldn't my girls have a mom who is able to play with them more? I can't get anything done God cause I'm in bed so much?  BUT I am sinning!  I must speak truth to myself in these moments and KNOW that God is the author of this and He has my BEST in mind.  He is maturing me and growing my character.

  How do we respond to trials? James says to his church...

  1. "Consider," that is, make a judgement, that trials are a cause for joy

  2. They should ask for wisdom

  3. They should not "be deceived" about the origin and nature of temptation

  4. "Know this," James says, and he states principles for speech and self-control

  5. They should "not forget" what they read in the word.

  "Humanly speaking, trials seem like random evils that fall on us.  But our Sovereign oversees the trial itself and oversees us in the trial, so it strengthens and deepens our faith.."  Isn't that comforting?  That's what brings us joy!  For we know that the trials are sent by a merciful God who promises us an inheritance that never fades or perishes!  Even if we don't see it this side of heaven!

  Whew!  There are many times I long for heaven. But it's not time yet.  I know God does oversee me.  He is always so faithful to provide for me-rest in the midst of the migraines, a medicine that works to take it away within a few hours, a Dr who cares a ton about helping me get better, a husband who does a great job picking up where I have to leave off.  Grace abounds.

"Indeed, no significant accomplishment is possible unless we learn to persevere through trials.  Progress toward any great thing inevitably entails obstacles.  We must persevere.  By such we gain the strength to persevere in yet greater diversity."

  Yes, I must persevere.  I will persevere.  God is here with me.

"In the midst of hardship, people sometimes guess what they should learn from it.  They say "The Lord will teach me patience through this," or "I will learn to trust God more completely." The Lord can indeed deepen patience or trust through trial.  But James does not say trials produce one particular virtue.  Rather, James 1:4 says perseverance leads to maturity in general: "Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Trials lead to well-rounded virtue.  There is no virtue that trials cannot build.  There is no defect trials cannot remedy, no strength trials cannot impart." 

  Wow!  That builds me up!  To know that God can do anything with trials, that there is no limit to the virtues He can and will bestow through them!  I am guilty of guessing what I should learn through trials.  Instead of guessing, I should be asking God for wisdom to discern what He wants to teach me. Lord, I am open, show me your wisdom!  Bring it on!

  In case you are wondering do we have to rejoice in the particular illness or, you fill in the blank..."James does not command disciples to rejoice in illnesses per se, but we should rejoice in the lessons we learn in them.  At a minimum, trials expose our weaknesses so we know where we must grow.  Trials expose our sin and our inability to reform ourselves.  They reveal our need of a Savior."

  Oh yes! I need Him in a big way.  If there is one thing I have learned, it is this-I cannot do this by myself!  I need His grace and strength, I need my husband's help and prayers, I need my friends prayers.  I cannot heal myself!  Only God can take these nasty things away.

Have we trials and temptations

Is there trouble anywhere

We should never be discouraged

Take it to the Lord in prayer

Can we find a friend so faithful

Who will all our sorrows share

Jesus knows our every weakness

Take it to the Lord in prayer

O, what a friend we've found

What a friend we've found

What a friend we've found in You

O, what a friend we've found

What a friend we've found

What a friend we've found in You

So, I will be healed, either here on this earth or in heaven.  But God promises me that it will happen.  In the meantime, I am going to persevere and ask God for wisdom, while he cultivates character in me.  And I will be praying the same for each of you as you endure trials.