Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Anger #2

Before we talk about how anger affects those we love, I think it is very important to first talk about the One it grieves the most, Our Lord. For this is who we are sinning against first. His word is clear, we must put anger to death. There is only one case in which anger is acceptable and that is when it is righteous anger. I don't know about you but it's rarely righteous anger for me. God has equipped us to fight this battle with anger. Colossians has a ton to say on the subject. We will talk more about that tomorrow.
So, as I prayed for God to show me what my anger does to my children I was so saddened by what I saw. Their little faces tell it all. Their countenance drops to sadness and usually they start crying right away after I have spoken to them harshly. And Gracie will say, "Mommy please don't be angry with me." It breaks my heart when she says that. It's like I have ripped her sense of security right out from under her. Her mom has become a monster. If I am responding to the Lord's prick of my heart, I will ask her for forgiveness right then. She is always so kind to grant it very quickly and move on. What a blessing that is.
There are two suggestions I have for you today. If you sin against your child in any way, ask them for forgiveness. Everytime! This is such a good example for them to see you doing this. Make sure you are specific and you tell them what you are craving and what would have been the proper response for you to have. Like today, I was in my bathroom getting ready and the girls were coming in and out. They are not allowed to do this, they are supposed to play nicely while I get ready:) They came in to bring me the phone and Piper got into some trouble. She dumped out a box of stuff for the second time this morning. I immediately lit into her and picked her up and set her outside of my door. Of course she was devastated that her mommy treated her that way. So after I cooled down for a minute I knew I had just sinned against her and the Lord. I asked the Lord for forgiveness and then went and asked Piper. Yeah, she is young but start asking young ones anyway!
The second suggestion I have, and this is one I really need to work on incorporating.. is to stop yourself right in the middle of your sentence and say "And I am sinning right now." Like "Piper, I can't believe you are in that box again, get out!!!! Why are you, and I am sinning right now." Then you can go right into asking them for forgiveness right then and there!
I share my sin with you hoping that you are encouraged that God's grace is sufficient for you and I. I am going to get angry again with my children, I am going to grieve God's heart again over this. But He is faithful to pick me back up and help me grow. Maybe tomorrow when Piper gets into something she isn't supposed to, I can respond graciously to her and give her the training she needs. Proverbs 16:24 "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body."
I want to be a sweet aroma in my home. I want our home to be a place where they girls love to dwell. Where they feel grace abounding even when they are sinning.


Robin said...

Excellent! I'm sure there are plenty of us who can relate and who are inspired by this. One caution about righteous anger. Sometimes we can fall into the trap, that in certain circumstances we do have a right to be angry at even what our children are doing. BUT, we can share that righteous anger much differently than our sinful anger. Also, don't let the thought that "I have the right to be angry." become a frequent excuse for our sin. There is a very fine line sometimes and we can cross it easily. Thanks again for sharing so openly!

Shawnda said...

Amen, sister!!! Thank you so much for sharing your heart, honestly, humbly, boldly, for the glory of our Lord, and for the joy of your family! Anger is definitely a struggle of mine! The Lord has been so gracious as He tenderly prunes my heart and works in me, which has been even more convicting!!! We'll have to talk more about this next wk!!! I'm looking forward to knowing you better, Lindsay! The time I have already spent with you and spoken with you has been an incredible JOY to my heart!